Give clear signals
Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. It’s not fair to flirt with someone for the fun of it – unless they are obviously flirty themselves. Flirting for fun is fine when you know someone a little better. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the ‘hi, I’m friendly’ flirting signals.
Great States are catching
People love being around charismatic people because they spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state for flirting and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.
Carry something to get you noticed [Susan Rabin calls this a flirting prop]
If you want someone to approach you, be sure to wear or carry something that is eye-catching and noticeable to you. You will be surprised how much easier it is to go up to someone and ask a question about their prop.
Separate yourself from your friends
If you go out with a group of friends or even one girlfriend, make sure you separate from them so that you are more approachable. No man wants to be rejected in front of a group of women, and he may well feel he cannot approach you when you are ‘protected’ by a herd of other women!
Check your voice
Does your voice sound like a dental drill or do you wash people in waves of sensual sound?
If you are not interested, be polite when rejecting a man
‘Get lost nerd’ is NOT the way to say NO. Men who approach women may do so clumsily sometimes. If you are not interested, make it clear and be polite. It can be very difficult to get up the courage to approach a woman. Refuse someone in the way you would appreciate being turned down yourself. If you are sure someone is NOT for you you can say ‘I am sure you will find someone who is right for you, but I am sorry I don’t think it’s me. Remember that even if this person is not for you, they may have friend potential and who knows that benefits that can bring!! And now a short pause for a commercial break!
Be interesting by being interested
Cut down the talk about yourself and ask him open ended questions. Find out about him – after all people generally enjoy talking about themselves and feel flattered when someone shows an interest in them. This also gives him the cue that you like to know a bit about someone before exchanging numbers or accepting a date.
Ask him what he enjoys doing
Women and men often tend to fall back on the line ‘What do you do’? To some men, this can smack of ‘checking for wallet-padding’. Alternatively Not everyone is doing the work they love, YET and the question may put them on the spot. Men are much more activity orientated whereas women like to talk about emotions. Asking them what they enjoy doing in their life will allow find out more about what makes them tick.
If you give out your number, give the genuine one
Carry a personal or business card to hand out. This way you know that when you give out your phone number you either give out the genuine one or not at all. Imagine what it must feel like plucking up the courage to dial a woman’s number only to find it is the local Chinese take-away.
Make the first move!
95% of men I talked to said they would love to be approached by a woman. If women are looking for equality then it is only fair that they do their share of the asking. It will also give you an opportunity to understand what men have to go through when making a first approach.
It’s no point in assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you’ll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren’t YET sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there.