1. Dust the insides of his freshly washed boxers with hot chili powder.
2. Donate his 60-inch plasma to charity.
3. Engaged? Write him a touching thank-you note for the 3-carat Tiffany diamond ring that will now be worn on your middle finger.
4. Change his e-mail’s auto response to “I’m unavailable today due to a raging case of genital warts.”
5. “Forget” where you parked his vintage convertible.
6. Take a photo of yourself naked, then blur out all the good parts and leave it on his pillow with a message that says, “Too bad you’ll never see these again.”
7. Invite your friends to a backyard bonfire using his clothes and prized sports equipment as kindling.
8. Resist the urge to break up with him until the day of his big meeting — then give him a Sharpie mustache right before his alarm goes off.
9. Serve up Ex-Lax brownies to give him puh-lenty of time to sit and think about what he’s done.
10. Challenge him to a naked wrestling match and whip out your signature move, the Ten-Fingered Ball-Crusher.