1. When you ask to speak to him about moving in, he schedules the talk for June.
2. Each time after sex, he grabs a private notebook from his bag and scribbles something in it, giggling.
3. His friends call him by the nickname of Cheaty McGee.
4. He loves to touch you and kiss you and will do so just as soon as he powers up and finishes killing these level-four zombies. Die, video zombies, die!
5. His ring tone is “Baby Got Back.”
6. The guy’s elaborate excuse for not spending the holidays together includes training for an Ironman competition.
7. Mr. Reality still entertains the idea that he could be a “stripper choreographer.”
8. He’s already written a scathing tell-all memoir of your relationship — and you’ve only been dating for two months.
9. He calls your mom “Mrs. Robinson” and stares at her way too intensely.
10. The big spender usually splurges and buys you awesome gifts, so it’d be a real shame to dump him before Christmas.