Economic insights from a non-economist.

This year, taxpayers in the US will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q. and A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?

A: From taxpayers.

Q: So the government is giving me back my own money?

A: No, they are borrowing it from China ! Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?

A: The plan is that you will use the money to buy things, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?

A: Shut up! Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy, by spending your stimulus check wisely:

– If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .

– If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda.

– If you purchase a computer, it will go to Taiwan .

– If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras , and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

– If you buy a car, it will go to Japan and Korea .

– If you buy more catfish, it will go to Vietnam.

– If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India .

– If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan .

– If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of those will help the American economy. We need to keep by spending that money here in America . You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game or spend it on massage, prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), Coca Cola, McDonald’s, watching Adult films, since those are the businesses still being made by & in the US. There is also an advice that you can buy some guns and shoot someones around.


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